In the age of reels, DMs, and “guys, it’s giving…”
…Wireless Connectivity is basically the socialite of the tech world—glamorous, fast-talking, always on the move, and somehow everywhere.
Unlike Satellite (our dependable but dusty Oupa), Wireless is that hyper teen who can’t sit still, wears AirPods at the dinner table, and somehow has three bars of signal even in a concrete bunker. It’s chaotic, it’s brilliant, it’s a bit emotionally unstable—but it gets the job done.
Let’s rewind a bit though. Wireless wasn’t always this confident. There was a time when it was the shy kid in the corner, struggling to send a song via Bluetooth for 17 hours while your phones practically had to kiss. Remember that? The Nokias doing infrared transfers like some awkward phone-to-phone CPR? Simpler times (although we’re showing our age here. Sorry not sorry).
Wireless is the friend who went to gym once, got a six-pack, and suddenly discovered their worth. Now it’s strutting down digital runways, offering high-speed, low-latency connections and acting like it didn’t spend its formative years buffering LimeWire downloads.
So, in honour of Wireless’ glow-up, here’s a Throwback List of things that were still cool when your Wi-Fi password was “admin123”:
- YouTube intros with exploding text
- Spinning BlackBerry loading wheels
- Being “WAP enabled” (and not in the Cardi B sense)
- The sweet, sweet pain of EDGE connection
- MXIT statuses like: “$$$Mo$$$ is… bored 😐”
- Twitter eggs
- When Instagram was just sepia-tone lunch photos
Wireless has come a long way. From stealing your neighbour’s unsecured signal (shout out to “NETGEAR”) to Mesh Wi-Fi systems that cover your house like clingwrap over a plate of leftovers—seamless, unnecessary, but somehow very comforting.
And look, we get it. Wireless isn’t perfect. Sometimes it flakes out during that very important Teams call, or decides to ghost you the second you sit down to stream something. It’s got commitment issues. It gets moody in rain. And like any dramatic lead in a telenovela, it loves dropping out right when the plot thickens.
But despite all its high-maintenance behaviour, it’s hard not to love it. Wireless connectivity has turned our homes into offices, our parks into cinemas, and our toilets into social hubs (don’t lie—we all do it).
The truth? Wireless isn’t a luxury anymore. It’s a lifeline. From that weird new coffee shop trying to seem quirky with “No Wi-Fi, Talk to Each Other” signs (okay, Karen), to schools in remote areas running full classes on a dongle and a prayer—Wireless keeps things going.
It’s the overachiever. The do-it-all. The one carrying half the tech world on its slightly overworked, overheating shoulders.
So, while it might not have the old-school loyalty of Satellite, or the brute strength of Fibre, Wireless is the one you call when you need to get things done fast, flashy, and without strings. Literally.
Wireless: flakey but fabulous.
We stan.
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