Enter the world of South African’s, where everything is made up and the rules don’t matter.
Our yellow lanes are for public transport, our electricity is for neighboring countries, and we’ve missed the “efficiency” memo when we tried to combine our sewerage and drinking water into one. Instead of Hartbeespoort Dam being an actual, you know, Dam, today it looks like a fluffy Padel Court. Our beaches aren’t for swimming and our power isn’t for using.
We’re a nation where everything works – eventually – but we’re also a resilient one which has (kind of) managed to work around the chaos (Karen’s included).
The biggest challenge we face? The words on everyone’s lips? The localized version of Beetlejuice, where saying it three times in a mirror can probably make it happen? Load Shedding – more affectionately known as the collective bane of our very existence.
In the whimsical world of load shedding, South Africans play a thrilling game of chance known as “Load Shedding Roulette.” Will your favorite coffee shop have power? Will the traffic lights suddenly switch off, leading to spontaneous chaos on the roads? Will my lights come on ten minutes early, twenty minutes late, or not at all? Can I log a call with City Power yet? Is the kettle boiled? Will the geyser be hot? It’s a guessing game that keeps everyone on their toes. And then some.
But fear not, dear reader, for the portable power station emerges as the ultimate wild card, ensuring you’ll never miss your caffeine fix and bringing order to the chaos of the roads.
Fear not, dear reader, because there’s an end in sight (kind of) – or should we say a light at the end of the tunnel? Enter the era of the Portable Power Station (in this instance: the Volta 700x) – a wild card designed to bring order to chaos and (hopefully) restore a modicum of sanity, normality, humanity – or all of the above.
But first, let’s scale it back and recap some of our favorite scenarios…
Picture this: You’re engrossed in your favorite TV series, eagerly awaiting the climax, when suddenly… poof… the lights go out. Cue the groans, the grumbles, and the hilarious scramble to find your solar light/candle/phone torch It’s like a well-orchestrated comedy show, except nobody asked for tickets. Cue the cries of “where’s the lamp?”, “I can’t find my phone” and, our personal favorite, “OUCH – MY TOE”.
Enter the 700x, the ultimate punchline to this electrifying situation, offering an instant power-up for uninterrupted binge-watching (plus, ours comes with a built-in torch – which kind of helps).
Next, picture yourself at a lively South African braai with friends and family, the smell of sizzling meat in the air, and laughter filling the atmosphere. Suddenly, darkness descends, and the braai master is left fumbling in the dark, desperately trying to reignite the grill. It’s a hilarious game of “Guess the Sausage,” where the true skills are tested by the faint glow of a smartphone flashlight. In theory, cooking by firelight should ensure sufficient lighting – but try explaining that to the poor chap attempting to salvage his chop. Nightmare, right?
Fear not, for the portable power station swoops in to save the day, bringing the sparks back to the braai (and hopefully not in a literal sense).
But wait, there’s more…
There’s nothing quite like a cozy movie night at home, snuggled up on the couch with popcorn and loved ones. But what happens when the power goes out in the middle of a suspenseful scene? Suddenly, the dramatic tension shifts from the movie to the living room, as family members shout out their improvised dialogues and create their own endings.
Hello, 700x – the unexpected hero that saves the day, allowing you to continue your movie marathon without missing a beat (or a punchline).
You get the picture. We’re sure of it. At least we hope so – because we’re rapidly running out of imaginary scenarios.
All things said and done; we still feel like we’re kind of underselling our product – so here’s the pitch. The Volta 700x is a rugged, portable power station which you can use as a convenient home backup solution OR take with you wherever you may need it (think camping – but glamping). It’s capable of powering up/charging your phone, mini-fridge, laptop, PC, second screen, tablet, Wi-Fi, and even your TV. In fact, we’re sure the only thing it can’t power up is Eskom itself.
It’s literally port, plug, and play. You can charge it as you need it (utilising the full power of Lithium Batteries – at least, that’s what the brochure says) and enjoy a whopping (insert high number) of power on demand. It even has a built-in flashlight – but we’ve already said this. We cover warranties, repairs, and replacements if necessary – and all our contracts are on a month-to-month, affordable rental basis.
That’s it – that’s the pitch.
The future of sanity in SA clearly involves alternate power solutions – and it doesn’t come more alternate, powerful, or solution centric than the Volta 700x.